A powerful concept and pattern, in search of a shorter name.. like blind_FOMO, as a specific form of breakaway.

Opening example: For many big-ticket products, a novice would often buy the market leading branded version (paying a premium), because he doesn’t know his own needs. FOMO is a suitable descriptor.

— the Main example of this blogpost: TianJue is the first to point this out, when I shared with him the paradox of China’s bachelor tech professionals. See latency无底洞

As soon as the bachelor enrolls at a Beijing/Shanghai college, he would face the same decision that some of his cohort has already decided on — “Will I end up working in 一线 city like 北上广深 ?”. If yes, then the home purchase looks inevitable and requires a whole-family effort starting from Year 1. .. Wrong priority.

I asked TJ “if the price is out of reach for my family, then what about renting?” I don’t remember his response, but perhaps 1 in 3 bachelors could realize “…beyond my capacity” and put away the decision. For the remainder, buying is nearly infeasible but question is “Will I regret if I don’t buy, and rent or work in a Tier2 city?” The more peers make the early decision to buy, the more peer pressure on the helpless bachelor to follow the herd instinct. It’s interesting how semi-consciously we filter our peer group and exclude bulk of the local population.

TJ also pointed out that dating game puts huge pressure on the bachelor. In my younger days, I had to work hard over decades to improve my /status/ in the mating competition. When I first had kids, I didn’t believe the opinions of those likes WQ.Luo. I was driven to improve housing, education resources… for my kids, engaging in the arms race with millions of fellow parents. Similarly, the inflation fear was a widespread brainwash. Medical cost inflation fear was driven by my own parents… All of these “struggles” are taught to every young men as part of Chinese enculturation. As a consequence, I felt perhaps $3M would be needed.

Those around me who gave up on ffree were seen as _quitters_. These are the individuals who decided to keep working till retirement age, buy a house of same size as the peers, save as much as the peers, save up for college funding as the peers… all without a ffree goal. They are seen as not trying hard enough.  Clearly my choices are a breakaway from these “quitters”.

TJ then concluded that by my age, I have figured out my real needs and real priorities. I guess that’s a SelfKnowledgeAdvantage

— eg: the ivy-league fixation + SDXQ fixation among the Chinese middle-class in U.S.
Many immigrants seem to assume that schools rated below 8 are unacceptable… Fear of unknown. They follow their peers [i.e. fellow immigrants] and reject these mainstream choices.

Kyle and I discussed our “insider insight“. With this insight, I hope we can live free of the huge financial burden/obligation. In such a case, I would count myself lucky to understand my own needs.

When I told my father that my kids don’t have to enter any college, he said he would be proud of my son if he gets into Community colleges or Polytechnics. Heroic words of wisdom.

— eg: retirement planning .. Many younger Singaporeans seem unsure how much they would need in retirement. Some follow the marketing propaganda, dismiss the CPF-life amount as inadequate, and take on the huge burden of “SGD 1M nest egg”.

TJ pointed out that by my age, I know my own needs.

— eg: safe European cars .. I put a high value on their extra safety level,  exactly because I don’t really understand the risk. TJ.Lin said the probability of preventable harm from dangerous accident is actually very very low.

— eg: if unsure, buy the dominant brand. In the 1990’s you won’t be at fault if you buy IBM, even if it’s not the best choice in hindsight.
My first smartphone was a Samsung… not “better” than the cheaper Vivo, Oppo, Huawei phones I have used.