This blog has required high concentration of introspection, critical thinking …. due to some of the most touchy yet everyday practical topics like
Many fellow Chinese parents (plan to) spend /disproportionately/on their kids because .. (hold your breath) they want-to not pressured-to spend.
Chinese parents feel good about /martyrdom/sacrifice/ — saving up and investing on kids education.
Labor of love — However, Some (33 to 50%) of my peers complain and appear to be under pressure to put up such huge amounts, due to peer pressure, and societal expectation like a “norm”.
How am I different?
I prefer binary frameworks (simplicity) instead of 3-way frameworks!
Real financial freedom (salary-free) is less realistic now than at 62, as grandpa pointed out. Key factors
Note 1: This is about cashflow freedom, not “retirement”. In fact, I might be among the pioneer generation who keep working till my last day.
Note 2: Actually I still prefer to look at near-term cashflow freedom… cashflow figures ] 3ffree scenarios
By Apr 2017, I had set up semi-retirement well in advance, as evidenced in the numerous posts under category “cashflow” (and also “retirement”). Key factors:
Q: now why I feel the cash-flow pains, despite these factors?
A: peer comparison, but I always forget these factors are my unique strengths not shared with my peers.
A: saving towards 600k (even 800k) home .. stress! See the master index page
A: U.S. burn rate is inherently higher. See “Gerald” post
k_X_car_dependency
There’s a walk score system. Apparently many people prefer walkable neighborhoods.
I much prefer walkable neighborhoods like
I like to see kids and old people walking in the community. On average, those locations tend to be safer, cleaner, lively, and feels richer.
My dad told me that he did the right thing as a parent not to push my sister and I to work extra hard towards top schools and university. He referred to his decisions (and his underlying attitudes) in the 1980’s China. He had the view that academic benchmark was overrated. He has the backbone. By the way, he did know the top universities well and taught in a few of them. His peers are mostly university professors.
Q: If I choose a location with clean safe streets but mediocre middle school with conducive learning environment -> private high school, will I feel inferiority and 对不起 my kids?
I think the inferiority is a personal pain but I ought to manage that as a second priority.
The parental duty to provide the best for my kids is a more serious, more real question. Answer is a decisive NO because
I have a fundamental, deeply felt objection to buying [1] in top school districts, but the overwhelming convention wisdom among my Chinese/Indian fellow parents is something like “any school district below 8/10 is a dangerous thing you could do to your kids.” Paul said “They deserve better.”
[1] Renting? a bit of reservations too
That’s why I need powerful, convincing justifications:
case study — I lived in East Orange for a few weeks. Train interval was around 30 minutes even at morning peak hours. I missed once and had to wait for a long time. If I have important work to finish, When I came home late I again missed the peak frequency 🙁
Contrast with the flexibility of subway, or bike!
The more disciplined, the more flexible you can become.
Scheduled commute requires planning and discipline. Some get used to it and find it a non-issue on most days. but I feel it’s still a major inconvenience, like a loose screw on my bike — every now and then it breaks and needs a fix. We don’t prefer a life with too many restrictions, that requires planning on everything.
Discipline, adjustment, planning … all add to the “stress” — You miss one step, you suffer…. Painful lessons….
The rich teach their kids these useful habits, but these kids are not subject to the painful consequences when they fail. I’m not rich, so I had to learn these habits the hard way. Some people (perhaps my son) fail to learn all of these planning habits so they pay a price all the way until they get rich enough to avoid planning so many things.
I’m no perfect planner either 🙁